I wrote these two reviews for my old magazine. Most of the links aren't any good anymore and some of the toys aren't in production either but I really like the way they came out.
Each issue we give Jennifer and Dan a new sex toy and, in their own unique way, they review it for us. This issue we gave them a Doc Johnson anal vibrator. We've found the same vibrator with two different names. You can find it at www.lustylife.com called the Penetrator and you can also find it at www.electriclover.com as the Satisfier. Either way it has it's problems and an interesting solution as Dan and Jennifer will now tell you.
When I got home from work and walked into the apartment I immediately sensed something was up. I wasn't sure exactly what it was, I'm never sure with Jennifer, but that's part of the reason why I love her so much. I walked into the dining room and saw that the dinner table was set. The lights were set pretty low, there was a candle on the table but there was only one place setting.
"Hey there big boy, how was your day?"
"It was..." I started to say then I looked up at Jen.
She was leaning against the wall wearing an outfit that would get the designer arrested for even thinking about it in some countries. A long white satin robe with black trim that was completely open in the front, a black bra that somehow supported her luscious tits but left them completely on
display, black open crotch g-string panties, black stay up stocking with lace at the top and high heels. (Girls, go to www.dreamdresser.com, everything there is designed to make him drool! Jennifer)
When she saw the look on my face Jen smiled, looked down at herself and said, "What? This old thing? Do you like it?"
"Like it? I think you should be enshrined and worshiped as a Goddess." I said as I came over to her, slipped my hands underneath her the robe, squeezed her ass and kissed her lips.
We spent a few minutes kissing. I know she could feel my hard cock through my pants and I could feel her nipples pressing into me through my shirt. I tore myself away from her lips and started kissing her neck as I said, "So it looks like you have something planned for tonight."
"MMMmmm, well, we got a new toy in the mail from Wicked Love and I thought we'd make a night of it." She said through little sighs and moans.
"I've always liked the way you think," I said as I switched to the other side of her neck. "What's first on the menu?"
"I thought we'd have a light dinner and then some dessert followed by some dessert."
"You, are a very, naughty, girl." I said between kisses on her long silky neck.
She gave me a little laugh and asked, "Don't you even want to know what the toy is?"
"Oh yeah," I said as I stopped kissing her neck and smiled at her." Is it for you or for me?"
"Could be either in this case. It's on the bed next to a change of clothes for you."
"A change of clothes?" I asked.
"Well you didn't think I was going to walk around naked while you were sitting there completely dressed did you?"
"Honestly?" I asked and then kissed her quickly, "One look at you in this outfit and I was to dizzy to think straight!"
"Flattery will get you everywhere."
"Will it get me here?" I asked after kissing her neck.
"MMM, yes."
"How about here?" I asked kissing a nipple.
"Oh yes..."
"And here?" I knelt down and kissed her stomach.
"Yes, but not one inch farther until you go change your clothes." She said holding my head in her hands.
"No? Not even if I did this?" I asked as I leaned forward and swirled my tongue around her belly button. Then I pushed the tip inside it pretending her little button was her clitoris.
"MMmmm, you are such a fuckin' tease." She said smiling holding my head back. "Now go change!"
"Not even just a little taste?"
"You want a taste? How's this?" She asked as she pushed me back a little.
Then she slid down the wall a little and spread her legs. Bending her knees and leaning back against the wall her pussy was completely on display for me. She spread her lips with her left hand and put two fingers of her right deep inside her. She pumped them in and out a few times and then grabbed me by the shirt collar and stood up, lifting me to my feet.
Pulling my face close to her's she asked, "Are you going to be a good boy and go get changed?"
"Yes..."
I felt her hand come out from between us and she pressed her fingers into my mouth. After I had licked them clean she took her fingers away and then grabbed my head in both hands and kissed me, hard.
"Now go change!"
I kissed her back quickly and said, "Yes Ma'am!"
I walked down the hallway and into the bedroom to see what she had laid out for me. There folded neatly on my side of the bed were three things. A black satin robe, a pair of men's g-string underwear (Go to www.2xist.com and look for the y-back thongs. Well worth the effort! Jen) and a
vibrator. I picked up the vibrator and took a look at it. It was still in the package even though it was opened (Hey I had to put the batteries in didn't I? Jen.) It was an anal vibrator
scalloped at the sides about half way down so it would stay inside. I took it out of the package and turned it on. It's slim shaped and has a nice vibration. Both Jen and I like a little anal stimulation but neither of us are interested in fucking a tree trunk. This vibrator looked just the right size to be
comfortable with out being painful. I tossed it back down on the bed and as I got changed I wondered who was going to get to use it first.
After getting changed I went back out into the kitchen to find Jen. I had put the robe on but left it open so that it moved lightly around me as I walked. When I poked my head into the kitchen I saw Jen at the stove cooking. I
quietly sneaked up behind her and slipped my arms around her waist.
"So what's for dinner?" I asked squeezing her gently.
"The hell with dinner! What's that I feel back there?" She asked as she wiggled her butt and rubbed the satin of her robe over the pouch of the g-string that held my cock and balls.
"That's something special I bought for you at a boutique in Paris, like it?"
She put down the wooden spoon she was using to stir with, turned around, threw her arms around my neck, pressed her body up against me and said, "You went all the way to Paris just to buy me a gift? How thoughtful of you."
Then she kissed me and squeezed a hand down between us and into my g-string.
"Ohhh and it feels so life like." She said as she stroked my hardening cock.
"Only the best for you sweetheart." I said as I slipped my hands underneath her robe and squeezed both her ass cheeks in my hands.
We started kissing again and then suddenly the oven timer went off.
"Dinner's ready," she said between kisses.
"I could eat a little something right about now," I said as I brought my hand up between her legs and started to play with her pussy.
She kissed me again and said, "Then come with me."
Her hand was still around my cock inside the g-string and she led me by it to the dining room. Then she pulled out the chair with one hand and positioned it side ways and told me to have a seat. Once I was down on the chair she spread her legs and straddled my body. I brought my hands up to squeeze her tits but she grabbed them and said, "Those are for dessert. You wouldn't want to spoil your dinner would you?"
Thinking she was talking about something else entirely I said, "No Ma'am!"
"Good boy, now put your hands behind your back."
She put her hands on my
shoulders and started running them down my arms. By the time she was down to my wrists her tits were practically in my face. Which is probably why I didn't notice the cold metal on my skin until I heard the clicking noise. She'd handcuffed me to the chair. (These were real metal police style handcuffs. No padding, no fur lining for comfort. They come with keys but they also have a cheat release so that you don't need the keys. You have to be very careful when you use these types of cuffs in play. They can hurt if you tighten them too much. Metal doesn't give like rope will. Oddly enough I saw what looked like the exact same pair of handcuffs in a drugstore toy isle for half the price a few days ago. You never know where you might find a good toy.
We've played with these cuffs before so I knew what would hurt and what wouldn't. If you use a pair of cuffs like these try them on yourself before you use them on anyone else. Put one wrist in them and twist a little to see what is and isn't comfortable. Pain your captive doesn't enjoy will ruin both your fun. Jen)
"There, now you're mine." She said leaning back looking over her handy work.
"Was there ever a doubt?" I asked.
"No, of course not," she said leaning over and kissing me.
Then she got up off me, took the dinner plate and was about to go back into the kitchen when she looked back at me.
"Hmmm," she said as she put the plate back down and came over to me. "This won't do at all."
My cock was hard and the top half was sticking out of the waistband of my g-string. She grabbed the waistband, pulled it off me and tossed it aside.
"There, much more aesthetically pleasing."
Then she kissed me on the lips and went back into the kitchen with the dinner plate.
A minute later she came back into the dining room with a plate of food. She set it down on the table next to me, then straddled my legs and sat down on my knees. I can't even describe how good she looked as she smiled at me and said, "Since you're all tied up why don't you let me feed you."
After scooping up some pasta with the fork she brought it up to my mouth. She teased me by making me chase after the fork while lightly brushing her hand up the length of my cock. Then there were times she'd make me watch her eat which was a pornographic sideshow all by itself.
It was a light meal so we finished pretty quickly. When the last bite was gone she asked," Are you ready for dessert?"
"What are we having?"
"That's a surprise, it'll take me a moment to get ready so you just sit here patiently and wait for me. I'll be right back."
Then she picked up the dinner plate and silverware and I watched her walk out of the room.
A few minutes later she came back into the room
carrying a large glass bowl. She was wearing oven mitts on both hands and walking very carefully. When she set it down on the table next to me I could see why. It was filled with hot water and in the middle was a metal bowl with melted chocolate in it. When she saw I was looking at the chocolate, one of my most favorite things on this earth next to her, she said smiling, "No sneaking a taste, I'll be right back!" A moment later she came back into the room with another small bowl and a spatula. (If you're going to try this be VERY careful! The chocolate has to be at just the right temperature or you'll burn yourself. Test it very carefully before you put it on sensitive skin! The chocolate has to be cooled to the point that it's almost solid again. Sort of a melty fudge like consistency. If you are interested in exactly how to do it check out web site, www.wickedlovemagazine.com I'll write a detailed recipe. I'll say it one more time, be VERY careful. If you try this no one here at Wicked Love Magazine can be held responsible. You're on your own. Sorry to spoil the mood but the lawyers said I had to. Jen.) She set them down on the table by the chocolate, spread her legs and sat back down on my lap. (Ladies it is a simple fact that men, well straight men anyway, like to look at pussy. You may not agree with it or even understand it but it remains a simple fact. Have enough
confidence in yourself and the fact that he loves you to let him look at it. I'm not saying spread your legs every time you sit down but giving him peeks and a nice beaver shot during sex play never hurts. If all you do is put tab A into slot B both of you will get board no matter how much you love each other. Be playful, get creative now and then, tease a little, have fun with sex and you'll never get tired of each other. Jen.) Then she put her arms behind her back, wiggled her shoulders, and her tits, letting her robe fall to the ground. After that she reached around behind herself, arching her back, practically shoving her tits in my face and undid her bra. She threw it to the side and then caressing her tits with both hands and gave me a look that could melt an iceberg and asked, "Are you ready for dessert?"
I shook my head slowly and said, "Yes, please."
She put her hands on my shoulders and pushed my robe down. It slid to the floor held up only by the handcuffs around my wrists.
"Tonight I'm serving a rare delicacy, I hope you like it. I call it, warm chocolate tits."
My eyes half closed, my head tilted back and I let out a small moan of aching desire.
"I'll take it you approve of my choice of menu." She continued with a small giggle, "And I think for myself I'm going to have a nice pair of warm chocolate balls."
Then she leaned back and picked up the spatula. After scooping up chocolate on the end of the spatula she tested it by putting a little on her wrist.
"Mmmm, that feels nice," she said and then held her wrist up to her mouth and slowly licked the chocolate off. "And tasty too! Now it's time to make desert."
I watched as she scooped more chocolate out of the little pot and spread it over her tits. She did this twice, the last time paying special attention to her nipples, and then she took out two large halved cherries and placed them right over her nipples. The warm chocolate held them in place while she looked over her handiwork. Apparently happy with herself she thrust her tits in my face and said, "Bon appetite!" I
hungrily started licking up the chocolate while she giggled a little at my eagerness and stroked my cock lightly. The warm chocolate was delicious as I lapped it up off her tits. I pressed my face in her cleavage; I sucked her cherry nipples into my mouth and lapped up every last trace of chocolate that I could find! When I was done she pushed me back and
started to kiss my chocolate smeared face. After a few deep passionate kisses she pushed me back again and started to lick the chocolate off my face.
"Mmmmmm, you taste good," she said between kisses. "I think it's time for my desert!"
She got up off my lap and had me sit on the end of the chair and spread my legs wide. She looked down at me and smiled evilly. Then she knelt between my legs and stroked up the shaft of my cock and said, "You look so good like this... But I can think of one thing that'll make you look
better." She jumped up, ran into the bedroom and came back with our toy of the month. Looks like I was going to be the one to try it out first. Jen leaned over and kissed me and then dragged her body down mine as she knelt between my legs. She paused for a minute when my cock fell between her tits to bounce them up and down on me a couple of times. Then she knelt between my legs and turned the
vibrator on. I don't get much from a vibrator on my cock but Jen knows that I love it on my balls and asshole. (After sex, well maybe not right after sex, but when you've rested up a
little talk about what you liked most. Say things like, "Honey it really felt great when you did this" or "I loved it when you did that but next time play with my clit a little more first." Or whatever, just make sure it's positive. And do the same for him. Find out what you did that really got him off. If he says you give a great blowjob ask him what he liked the most. Maybe he just likes the head of his cock sucked while you play with his balls. Or in my case Dan liked the vibrator but it just didn't do anything for him on his cock. You should see how it makes him squirm when I rub it against his balls though. I asked, I learned, now I know. Jen). She ran the vibrator slowly along my inner thigh and then brought it up to my balls. Laying it length wise she rubbed it up and down my balls while she played with the speed controls. Then she used the tip to draw circles around my balls. It was driving me crazy! I looked at her face as she was playing with me and she caught my eye. She moved up my body bringing her face close to mine and then pressed the side of the vibrator against my asshole as she squeezed my cock and asked, "Enjoying dessert?" All I could do was moan and shake my head yes. She smiled and said, "The best part is yet to come!" Then she kissed me passionately and sat back down between my legs. Her right hand stroked up and down my cock while she put down the vibrator and reached for something with her left hand. I heard a familiar pop and knew she just opened the K Y Jelly. She let go of my cock and it slapped back against my body with a sharp sound and then she held up her finger in front of the tube for me to see. Slowly she squeezed out some of the lubricant on her finger. Then she just held it there as if waiting for something. It finally dawned on me that she was waiting for me to
present myself to her. I slide to the edge and somehow
managed to get my feet up on the seat. My body bowed under, my legs spread in a wide v, my hands cuffed behind my back and my hard cock laying softly against my stomach she looked me over and said, "Good boy." Then she brought her finger to my asshole and rubbed the KY all around before gently pushing inside me. I love the way she does my ass, a lot of KY and very slow and teasing. (Believe it or not this was a happy accident. When Dan first told me he liked this kind of thing I had no experience at it. What I did know is that if I'm not lubricated properly when I'm being fucked it hurts. So I got him good and slippery and went nice and slow. Turns out later when I asked him about it he said he loved how I teased him while getting him ready. Jen) Eventually she had me worked up to the point where she had her finger in me and once I was slippery enough she brought up the vibrator again. She turned it on and rubbed it around my balls, which felt fantastic. (The vibrator has a nice vibration when set on medium high and isn't to loud. You can definitely hear it but it's not as obnoxious as some of the noisemakers they're selling now a days. However when turned on full high it sometimes makes a noise like the motor is coming loose. I find that if you cut a long piece of cardboard, like from a tissue box, about a half-inch thick and wedge it in against the batteries it'll keep them from clunking against the side and cut down on some of the noise. Jen) Then she brought the tip up to the opening of my
asshole. She held it there a moment or two playing with the speed control. Then she gently started to push it inside me. I was fine until about two inches were inside me. My eyes flew open and I told her to stop!
"What's wrong honey?" She asked nervously. (Usually my Dominant personality is unflinching but when Dan stops me like this it's for a good reason and I listen. Jen)
"Something is hurting me. Pull it out, slowly."
While she did as I told her I tried my best not to let it show that it was hurting me. After it was out we looked at it and saw the problem. About two inches down there is a seam that goes all the way around the diameter of the vibrator. If you don't already know the tissue inside you rectum is very delicate and even the tiniest ridge can hurt. And this thing is marketed as an anal vibrator! I haven't bought many of Doc Johnson's toys but they have a very good reputation and I'm surprised that they would put out a vibrator with a defect like this. However after Jen made it up to me, and believe me she made it up to me, not that I blamed her (I blamed me! I broke one of my cardinal rules; never do a scene with a toy you aren't familiar with. I won't make that mistake twice I promise you! Jen) I started thinking about our friend the Satisfier. As Goldilocks said it was just the right size and I hate to see a good toy go to waste but how to get past that one HUGE flaw? A trip to the hardware store solved my problem.
The original idea isn't mine. I read about it in a book on homemade sex toys somewhere but it's just the trick to save the Satisfier. In most large hardware stores you can buy something called plastic dip. If you own a pair of pliers you've probably seen the stuff. It's the plastic coating on the handles. It comes as a thick liquid and dries to a thin smooth rubber coating that is prefect for sex toys because it's water proof and easily washes clean. It can be a little tricky to use so I'll run through the process with you.
First find a clean, dust free place to work. You'll also want to set up a way to hang the vibrator while it's drying. I ran a rope across my open closet doors and hung it from a wire. There are directions on the can and basically you'll just follow those. Open the can and stir the mix slowly. You want to be very careful here because if you stir to quickly you could make air bubbles and they will show up on your toy. Once mixed well take your toy and very slowly dip it into the can. If you're going to dip the entire toy you should have a handle of some sort. Attach a wire to it, which will come in handy later. Remove the toy just as slowly as you pushed it in and then hang it up to dry. Don't worry if the mixture seems to have coated the toy very thickly. It thins out when it drys. When I dipped mine it seems to go from about a 1/8 of an inch thick all the way around to almost paper-thin. I dipped my toy twice, because I was afraid of that seam, but depending on your situation you can dip it as few or as many times as you like. Then hang it to dry. It might be a good idea to put some newspaper underneath it in case it drips but I found the mixture so thick it wasn't necessary.
And there you go! I let mine dry for about 4 hours before I touched it but over night is probably the best idea. The finished surface is perfect for sex toys. It adheres to the toy strongly so it won't peel off; it's water proof and easy to clean. A good save for a toy with a small design flaw.
Products used this review were:
Plastic Dip (available at your hardware store)
The Penetrator Vibrator (Available at www.lustylife.com)
Men's g-string (www.2xist.com)
Dream Dresser outfit (www.dreamdresser.com)
Official Handcuffs From Pipedream Products, Inc. Chatsworth, CA 91311 $12.95
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