I wrote these two reviews for my old magazine. Most of the links aren't any good anymore and some of the toys aren't in production either but I really like the way they came out.
Each issue we give Jennifer and Dan a new sex toy and, in their own unique way, they review it for us. This issue we gave them a Doc Johnson anal vibrator. We've found the same vibrator with two different names. You can find it at www.lustylife.com called the Penetrator and you can also find it at www.electriclover.com as the Satisfier. Either way it has it's problems and an interesting solution as Dan and Jennifer will now tell you.
We had been taking a nap when the doorbell rang. We were both tired out from a long week of working for the man and a little nap was just what we needed. Which was why the sound of the doorbell was not what was needed.
"I'll get it." Jen said quietly in my ear.
"No don't go, let it ring. They'll go away."
"It'll only take a second and then I'll be right back." She said as she slipped out of my arms and into her robe.
I just sighed and closed my eyes not really going back to sleep. As I laid there quietly I could hear voices and then the door closing. Then there was quiet for a few minutes until she came back into the room. I heard her slip out of her robe and then slink into bed. She cuddled up behind me, her naked body pressing up against mine and started to lick my ear.
"Honey?" She said quietly
"Mmmm?"
"You know that fantasy you had about me and another woman?" She asked in a sexy voice.
My eyes flew open because I knew I was in dangerous territory. I also knew Jen.
"Yeah..." I replied cautiously.
"Well, I finally found the right girl and I want to make it come true for you. Right now!" She said as she plopped something right in front of my face. There in her hand was a little rubber woman.(It's silicone actually. A "new" incredibly stretchable material - Jen)
"What the hell is this?" I asked.
"I'm Sally the fucking slut," she said in a funny voice as she made the toy bounce around as if it was a hand puppet, "And I want you to fuck my tight ass!"
I laughed and took the thing from her. It was (Caucasian) flesh colored and sculpted like a little cartoon woman with her panties down around her thighs. There was an opening at her mouth and one at her ass. She felt slightly sticky and cold in my hand and she sort of flopped around like a fish. It was obviously a male masturbater but at least they sculpted the whole woman and not just a pussy. This one was kind of cute in a slightly disturbing way.
"You're not serious?" I asked.
"Oh yes I am!" She said taking Sally from my hand.
Jen examined Sally for a few seconds and then said, "I think you should fuck her ass."
"Don't you want to fuck me up the ass?" She said in the same funny voice as she made the toy talk to me again.
She turned the toy around and stuck it's butt in my face and in the funny voice said, "Look at my tight little hole! Fuck my ass! You know you want to!"
Then in her regular voice she said, "I think you should get her ready for it first, tongue her ass."
I rolled over on my back and looked from the toy's little asshole to Jen to see if she was serious. When my eyes locked with her's she gave me her best dominant glare so I knew she was serious. (Dan and I don't do humiliation play often. However as long as I'm careful in what we do he enjoys it, even if he doesn't want to admit that he does. Know the person you're with. That's crucial no matter what type of relationship you have. The better you know them the more fun you can have and the more problems you can avoid - Jen) I tentatively stuck out my tongue and she smiled and said, "That's a good boy." (When I talk to him like that it's a subtle form of age play. It exerts a great deal of power over Dan. As a top you have to learn how to respect that power and use it without abusing it. The line is very gray and can be very hard to see. Be careful and ALWAYS use a safe word. If for no other reason then it will make you both feel a little more secure knowing it's there. Also make sure that it's well known to everyone that there's no shame in using your safe word. Otherwise you might terrify your partner and eventually end up losing them or never doing that kind of scene again. We have several forms of safe word, a yes, a caution and a stop. They are phrased in a way that will allow either one of us to use them and not disrupt the scene but allow the other to know what's going on in your head. I can't stress enough how dangerous psychological play can be. After any scene always show your submissive or your Dominant a lot of love and affection. It shows the other person that you still care for them and that you haven't lost respect for them no matter what you've just done together - Jen) Jen moved the toy closer to my face and I pointed my tongue at it's tiny little hole. I was surprised at the texture and the feel of the toy. It tasted funny of course but the material conformed and stretched to the shape of my tongue.
"That's right, tongue her ass good."
I pushed my tongue in farther and it was the strangest sensation. I was actually beginning to look forward to what I figured would come next. Typically Jen surprised me again by telling me to take out my tongue and stick a finger up her ass. We hadn't lubricated it yet but even though my finger went in pretty easily. The material conformed to every shape and contour of my finger and felt really good as I moved it in and out.
"Ok now try two fingers." Jen said.
I tried but it wasn't working.
"It looks like Sally needs a little help." Jen said as she reached over me and took the tube of KY off my night table.
Then she took Sally from me and bent her over. She squeezed a little lube in her hole and handed her back to me and said, "Try again."
This time two fingers went in easily.
"Excellent! Now give her one more finger and see if she can handle my big boy."
(Dan doesn't have the largest cock in the world. We both know this. He doesn't have a small cock by any means either. It's about seven inches long and three of his finger thick, give or take the situation. Despite the fact that he's not John Holmes I call him things like big boy, or torpedo, or once I even jokingly called him donkey kong (HEY! That was a joke! Smile - Dan). Yes it's a little silly but it's also a simple fact that if you make the person you're with feel good then they'll want to make you feel good. If not there's something wrong with the relationship. Don't lie to them or say something so outrageous that it could never be true though. Pick something positive that they have or do and make them feel even better about it. I promise you it'll make you both happier in the end - Jen.)
I added another finger but this time it wasn't so easy. I tried to keep my fingers side by side but the toy kept forcing them together. It also looked like they were going to come through the back of the toy. The material seemed stretchy enough though so that as long as I was careful I wouldn't break it.
"Hmmm, " Jen said, "It seems like Sally might have a problem here... Let's see how she handles a real cock."
Then without even giving me a moments warning she grabbed the toy from my hand and sat on my chest facing my cock. When she leaned over I could see her pussy and asshole as clear as clear as the nose on her face. (I've said it before and I'll say it again. Men like to look at pussy and believe it or not even seeing your asshole can be a turn on for them girls. When the time and place are right for it let, him, look! It's ok to be a little slutty now and then with the one you love. He will appreciate it. If he's the slow type make sure, in a subtle way, that he knows that he should appreciate you for it - Jen)
My cock was already hard but I felt Jen lay the toy on my stomach and grab my cock. She stroked it a few times and then poured a little lube on it. My cock was now hard and slippery. I felt her pick up the toy and then I felt something cool at the tip of my cock. Then I felt her try to fuck me with the toy. It wouldn't go in. She tried several times getting me in halfway once but with all the struggle I started to loose my erection. It didn't hurt but it was very tight and the struggle was making me loose my focus. Finally she pulled it off me and then sat up on my face! I was completely smothered by her ass and couldn't see a thing. I had no idea what was going on but I really didn't care. (I've heard this position called Queening. The female sits on the male's face either facing the feet or turned around the other way facing the head. The idea is that you completely cover their face with your ass. Usually when I use this position I have Dan tied up and I tease his cock. My pussy is over is mouth and his nose pokes at my asshole. Occasionally I have to lean forward or move up so he can breath but I have teased him like this for up to an hour once. As long as I eventually let him cum he loves it and I enjoy the feeling of power and him squirming underneath me. Plus it's just really fun to play with his cock. I love seeing it so hard and watching it bounce around on his belly. Pressing his warm hard cock up against my cheek as I tease his balls... Mmmmmm... Anyway that's not what I had in mind this day. What I was trying to do was get a better look at Sally. Well ok and I wanted to give Dan something to get hard over again and my pussy and ass in his face are one sure way to do that. Sally is really tight. Not that I'm bragging but she may be more for men who are a little smaller then Dan. The problem was that once I coated Dan's cock in lube my hand was slippery so it was really hard to hold onto the toy. Also after a few failed attempts the lube started to dry up and his cock got sticky and that made matters worse. Here's what I decided to do. I leaned over and got my robe and let Dan breath (smile) then I wiped the lube off my hand and his cock. After applying more lube to just the inside of the toy I leaned over again and licked the head of his cock. When sucking on a thick cock there are some things you should keep in mind. Teeth hurt and your mouth is only so big. There are some girls who can suck on a baseball bat and never graze it with her teeth but I'm not one of them so I had to learn how to cope. My best technique is a lot of lips and tongue. I don't try to swallow his whole cock. Cover your teeth with your lips and just glide back and forth over the head. It's the most sensitive part anyway. Then use the flat of your tongue and lap up the front and over the head. If he needs more stimulation stroke the shaft of his cock with your hand or play with his balls as you lick and suck on him. Sort of cup his balls in your hand and roll them around. Experiment and then ask him what he liked best. There's no shame in not knowing how to give a world class blow job. Hell your eager interest in wanting to become better at it could be enough to get him off . Guys you have to remember that she's trying and not everything will succeed the first time out. Be positive and patient. Sometimes a couple has to work together to help each other.
After I had Dan really hard I leaned over (giving me that glorious view again! Damn - Dan), grabbed the base of his cock firmly and then with the toy in my other hand I positioned her little butt hole over the head of his cock. It still took some work but this time I was able to get his cock smoothly inside Sally - Jen)
When Jen finally got it worked out and I was inside Sally I have to admit it felt really good. The silicon stretched around me tightly and conformed to every contour of my hard cock. I heard Jen giggle but I wasn't in the state of mind to ask what was so funny. (What I couldn't help laugh at is that the hole from Sally's butt connect to the one in her mouth. It's one long tunnel through her. The head of Dan's cock actually came out of her mouth. It just struck me as really funny looking. It can be a problem though because if you lube up one end and then set her down for a minute the lube can come out the other end. And when I got Dan inside her the extra lube came out of her mouth and it looked almost like she was throwing up. I doubt that will bother any of you guys and while I did think it was a little unpleasant it was no big deal really - Jen) She kept giggling occasionally but got back to work on me moving Sally on my cock. I have no idea what she was doing but it felt fantastic! (There were a few techniques that I found worked really well with Sally. One was moving the whole toy up and down the length of his cock letting the mouth open and close over the head as it came out of her. Another was to keep the head of Dan's cock inside Sally and then kind of grab her head and stretch it up and down. The material that Sally is made of seems pretty strong and showed no signs of ripping or breaking when I tried this but I imagine if you use this technique a lot you might eventually rip her head off. The last technique seemed to really drive Dan crazy. I pushed Sally all the way to the base of his cock. Her mouth opens up and really squeezes him tight from below the head of his cock down through the shaft. I know Dan's cock likes to be squeezed so I had to be careful using this technique or he would come before I was ready to let him - Jen)
Between the tight soft feeling Sally's insides moving over my hard cock and the view of Jen's beautiful ass and pussy I was panting and squirming beneath her.
"Jen, please, I can't take anymore." I begged.
"You like Sally's tight ass do you?"
"Not as much as you, but yes it feel good. Please let me come." I begged again. (Damn I've trained him well - Jen)
I just moaned in protest then unconsciously humped my pelvis up trying to get more stimulation from Sally.
"If I have to stop and tie you up then I'm going to make you eat me out for at least fifteen minutes and add five minutes of fucking Sally as a penalty before I let you come."
I just groaned and tried to hold still, each slippery movement Sally made up and down the shaft of my cock making it that much harder... (When we first started playing with teasing and orgasm denial I wasn't as good with spotting Dan's point of no return. It took some time and practice before I could really be able to control his cock. Now-a -days I can usually tease him as long as I like and make his orgasms really intense. When I do let him come. Remember your sex life isn't an erotic novel. Real people don't always know how to magically please each other at a first glance. Sometimes they need to communicate and grow together before they can play some of the more advanced sexual games - Jen)
Jen must have changed positions slightly or something because suddenly her ass started to bounce up and down slightly as she worked Sally over my straining cock. My perverse mind suddenly imagined that I was wearing a chin strap dildo and Jen was fucking herself on it as she teased my cock. Her wet pussy not even an inch from my mouth and her asshole moving up and down right in front of my eyes as I watch the dildo penetrate her. (He comes up with the best ideas doesn't he? Where are my sex toy catalogs? I've got some shopping to do! - Jen) Between the idea of my chin dildo and the way Jen was working Sally over my aching hard cock I was ready to beg again to be allowed to come when I suddenly saw Jen's fingers in her pussy. I knew she was going to let me come in time with her own orgasm. Knowing my begging would only turn her on more I said, "Oh God, please Jen, pleeeeease let me come. "
I watched hypnotized as her slim graceful fingers rubbed around her clit and then went inside her wet pussy. Two of her fingers moving in and out of her as her palm rubbed up against her clit. Her pussy looked so wet, inviting and delicious. It smelled so good that I would have done anything at that moment to rub my face in it. I started to beg again but only got halfway through when Jen sat squarely on my face and smothered me in her pussy as she came. At the same time she moved Sally up and down my cock and squeezed her around me so tight I couldn't hold back any longer if my life depended on it. Halfway through her orgasm I came so hard I lifted us both off the bed before we both collapsed back into it breathing heavy.
There's only two negative things I have to say about Sally the Fucking Slut. She's really tight, a little to tight. I tried to stretch her out by mounting her on a wine bottle. Between that and just plain using her a few times she does seem to have stretched out a little but not very much. It can be a struggle to get inside her.
The other thing is after Sally there's some clean up to deal with. You can't just use a few tissues and then roll over and go to sleep. All the lubricant that you have to use makes Sally a messy sex toy but a damned good one.
The good thing about Sally is that she does stimulate you in the same way that a woman would. If you masturbate a lot between girlfriends using Sally would keep you from getting used to your right hand. She'd also be good for those guys who need to learn control. If you can teach yourself to fuck Sally for ten minutes straight you'll never disappoint and real woman. I would recommend her for that reason alone.